The Battle

Here we are again, face to face
What used to be a part of me,
is now standing before my eye

The crows are nagging,
persuading me to walk away forever
But I can't deny; this is real.

The stare of the eye,
sinking into my deepest soul,
scavenging for anything left,
rotting in the broken memories

We are one on one, with spear on hand
But to win this battle is not to conquer;
it is to make peace with oneself

Cutting this off is merely a mind trick
A false sense of triumph,
that would soon be buried in the ground

I'd dance around with my enemy, though
From dusk till dawn, until the light becomes the sign,
that the battle is over.



25-07-2013, staring at the trace of the past.

Illusion

You're the lights reflected on water
So bright, yet unreal

I'm binded oh so strong
That I can't get near you

Perhaps I would fade anyway
Drowning in your charm

Will we meet again on the other time,
when everything seems possible?
Will you be the same on the other time,
when we get to leave our world behind?

Can I steal you for a moment?
Are you really there?

Can I have your undivided soul?
I'll let you know, you have mine.

Sometime in December 2012

The Song: https://soundcloud.com/benitavania/illusion-original-live

Hilang arah

Diamnya dirimu menari-nari diatas perihku

Rasanya kau amati, menguji sampai gila

Tempatku berpijak perlahan menghilang, terkikis erosi

Adakah jawabmu dapat menopang kembali?

Sekarang kakiku tak lagi mau mengayun lagi

Mata mencari matahari yang telah tenggelam

Telah lepas aku dari perbudakan

Namun kebebasan tak mau aku ikut serta

Mereka bilang masa akan berpihak

Kurasa pun waktu sudah lelah

14-06-2013

Just in Time

Nothing is certain in this world
But your love to me is assured
It makes me capable of doing
All things that seems impossible

Help me to see the beauty of Your plan,
to hold on to your everlasting guidance
You've made the master plan and it won't be wrong
Your help will be here just in time

Although the storm is approaching,
and the way seems to be unclear
I will not be timid nor afraid
Cause nothing is against your power


29-05-2013, in facing the precarious future.
The song: https://soundcloud.com/benitavania/just-in-time-1

We walked together in the darkest night
among the crowd and chromatic lights
silence is what we both hear
as if time freezes

I don't need words to say
You don't need sounds to listen to
For your company is suffice
and I can't ask for more

Cherish our time,
for now we have the present
Embrace the moment,
for it will not turn back

Close our eyes and feel the warmth
Let the tears fall down
We are both safe for another day
We still breathe, in the silence



Sometime in November 2012

Enigma

Kita, bila memang ada "kita"
Berdua, bila pernah berdua
Dalam ucapan dan hati

Tuhan, bila masih Kau dengar
bisikku, semoga ini yang Kau maksud
satu jiwa dalam dua

Akankah ini menjadi satu cerita?
Tak pernah kita beritensi tuk bertanya, apa...

...tujuan pertemuan
yang Tuhan gambarkan?

Kita seharusnya menyingkap misteri
Tapi biarkan ini jadi enigma tak berjawab


01-04-2013

Want to be safe

I could settle down
I could play easily
But I aimed big,
and thought nothing is wrong with that

I risked it all
True, I lost it all
I've been caught in a blind devotion,
lost in the promises

I want to want to be safe
I want to want to feel safe
I risked everything to get nothing
I wish I wanted to be safe

04-07-2013
The song: https://soundcloud.com/benitavania/want-to-be-safe 

The concept.

The head and the tail.

As cliche as it sounds, every coin has two sides. In this context, I am putting myself as a coin. The head is my outer-self: the optimistic, the stubborn fool, the skeptic, and the rational. Meanwhile, the tail is my inner-self: the irrational and the obscure.

At times, I found myself scribbling meaningless words on the papers. I have no intention to impress, just to express. It works, though.

I am no poet, not even good with words. All that I know is that these words are truly genuine.

So here I present, the tail.